No Default Option: An Engineer’s Guide to the Social Media World You’d Rather Avoid

Jan 15

I don’t like social media.

I don’t enjoy posting. I don’t enjoy the performance layer that’s expected of us. I know I’m supposed to show myself on camera, make videos, and “be visible” but I simply don’t want to do it.

I don’t want to participate in turning serious topics into slogans. I don’t want complex work reduced to a listicle, or to a single confident, ChatGPT-generated sentence that travels much further than it should, just because it is more quickly and cleverly written.

And yet, much like trade shows, social media is one of those things that sits awkwardly in the professional lives of introverts, and especially, in my experience, in the lives of engineers.

By “engineers,” I mean anyone whose work depends on technical know-how and judgment rather than visibility, architects, senior developers, and technical leaders included.

The problem is this: you can dislike social media, avoid it, and even actively reject it - and still be affected by it.

That’s the part worth exposing.

Why this feels so wrong (especially for engineers)

Most engineers I work with don’t hate social media because they’re naïve about its impact. They know what it can do for a business. But for many, attention itself is actively unwelcome.

They look at LinkedIn and recoil at what it sounds like:

· gushing gratitude posts,

· long personal stories with a thin professional wrapper,

· recycled opinions delivered with unearned certainty

They also dislike what the system rewards:

· speed over accuracy,

· confidence over correctness,

· visibility over substance.

On top of that, thoughtful contributions take time. Social platforms don’t appear to be designed for busy, thoughtful people.

All of this is entirely reasonable. It’s also why I publish blog posts infrequently and post on LinkedIn only occasionally (unless I have managed to remember to add posts to my scheduler).

The problem with opting out entirely

The difficulty is that absence is not neutral.

In today’s industry, silence is often interpreted as:

· disinterest in the wider community,

· not having opinions that matter,

· being invisible among peers.

This isn’t malicious. It’s structural.

Decisions now happen in environments where familiarity comes first. People watch and scan long before they ask — sometimes for months — looking for small signals that your thinking overlaps with theirs.

And when there’s no trace of how you think, others fill in the blanks - often incorrectly and rarely in your favor.. Worse, they don’t think about you at all. Even if you’ve emailed or sent a reminder.

I’ve seen this repeatedly: brilliant engineers stay quiet while less experienced but more visible voices shape the conversation. Not because they’re better. Because they’re easier to place.

It’s a question of being legible instead of invisible.

This is not about becoming “a LinkedIn person”

The biggest misunderstanding is thinking the only options are:

The biggest misunderstanding is thinking that the only options are:

perform loudly and often, or

don’t participate at all.

There is a quieter middle ground.

· You don’t need to post frequently.

· You don’t need to be inspiring.

· You don’t need to be gushingly grateful.

· You don’t even need to tell your story.

You only need to be astute and accurate, occasionally, in public.

Think of it less as posting and more as leaving a trace—evidence that you exist, that you think, have opinions, and that you notice what your connections have to say. Details that others likely gloss over.

What actually works (without it being cringe)

In practice, this rarely means writing original posts every week. For many engineers, the lowest-friction entry point is commenting.

What to avoid:

· Don’t repost without context or a comment.

· Applause without adding anything of substance.

These are common low-signal practices.

And best practice looks like this:

· Add a short, precise correction or observation when you already have an opinion.

· A single sentence, or a few at most.

· No emojis.

· No open questions (or selling) at the end.

It should come across simply as: this is how it looks to me in the real world.

Those comments often travel further than posts, especially when attached to high-signal discussions led by people with much larger audiences. They attract the right kind of attention—the kind that starts with:

“I saw your comment and wanted to ask…”

That’s not performance. That’s contribution.

Why measuring the wrong things makes this unbearable

If someone tells you to judge success by reach or engagement, social media will always feel pointless. Your metrics will always point to what’s working, but better signals are much quieter:

someone referencing your comment in a call,
someone saying they’ve been following your thinking,
fewer cold explanations because people already know where you stand.
reigniting conversations because they noted what you had to say.

Your behavior on social media can significantly change – and open new - conversations.

Are you willing to give it a try?

A final word

You don’t have to enjoy social media. I don’t. I have to work at it too.

Like networking at trade shows, it’s an environment that exists whether we like it or not. There is no default option anymore—only different perspectives and different ways of engaging, and living with the consequences if you don’t.

If you decide to participate, do it on your terms.

Occasionally. Precisely. Without theatrics. And without a hard schedule.

And if you decide not to, make that a conscious choice—not an accident. Have a reason that holds up – like you can’t possibly support any more clients because you have too much work. (Said no one, ever.)

If your role depends on trust, visibility, or selling complex software or systems, in a world where visibility is ambient, complete silence is still a signal.

Janet Greco 15 January 2026